La Boina Roja

Linux, the struggles are real!


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Letting of of the perfection

Yep, that is one of the hardest things to do for me,  despite knowing  it can hold me back 😔 But a couple of months ago, I decided when it comes to studying math, I will let go of some of the perfection.

See when I just started learning Math at KhanAcademy, I took notes religiously and way too seriously. I would take notes of every vid (I wish I was joking😐 ) and I watched every F-U-C-K-I-N-G vid. My notes would be categorized according to my system but still in sync with KhanAcademy. I used to study in a coffee shop where the desks were much bigger then the tiny thing made off match sticks I have at home.

These are the notes I used to make in the huge binder:

 

Also notice the 6d in the top right corner? That is how I used to index my notes (yes I am anal-retentive like that). I remember getting annoyed when KhanAcademy changed their subjects around, so my system of categorizing was not on par with the site any more.

Since there is no place for a huge binder on my desk, I bought a smaller binder (size a5). And believe it or not, I threw the huge binder with my notes in the trash 😮

 

On the left my notes on A5 on the right my old notes on A4.

 

Since that day, I changed my approach to note taking. I will not take notes off every vid any more, I will take notes when I struggle with a subject or when I see this symbol (which indicates a mini paper on the given subject):

 

 

But most importantly I will stop categorizing my notes, the new note will be placed on top. Plus when it comes to note taking, some notes will be placed on this blog. I will go a for a hybrid thingy, I guess.

Does that mean I have let go off the perfection  completely? Hell NO❗️ The perfection, will be focussed on watching every vid no matter how well versed I am on the subject. Plus every unit test and course challenge needs to be on 100%.

Take a look on the picture below, it says that I have mastered 4th grade math for 100%. Despite scoring a 90% on my course challenge. Being the person I am, I was not happy with the outcome 😡

 

 

I did the course challenge a couple of times (like only 40 times or so, I am not joking😐 ) till I scored 100%.

 

It was only then I moved on to the 5th grade.

Yes I know, new vids and exercises are daily added on KhanAcademy. And yes I check regularly if the grades I already mastered (for 100%, nothing less) have new content. If so I will watch the new vids and do the new exercises. I did already mention in this post I am anal-retentive, yes?

 

Remember you can always do the cliccie for a larger piccie 😋


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#OkSven de hashtag voor #viruswappie Sven Hulleman

Sven Hulleman, de man die je om de drie zinnen laat weten dat hij jurist is. Smijt met termen in het Latijn. Zich (volgens zijn eigen idee)  kleedt als een jonkheer. Dit allemaal zodat hij zich voor kan doen als een man van gegoede komaf. Eigenlijk is hij niet anders dan geen geschifte idioot, die zich voordoet als de man die opkomt voor het plebs. Alles wat hij aanraakt mislukt.

Hij heeft  het in Rotterdam geprobeerd met drie zaken. Een juridisch buro “Meson Juristen” met aan de ene kant “Le Lapin Fou” dat moest een wijnbar worden met in de kelder een club “Le Lapin Noir”. En aan de andere kant van “Meson Juristen” had hij de zaak “Atelier D’Artistes” ofzoiets. Hij heeft alle drie de panden laten verbouwen en alle drie de zaken zijn spectaculair gefaald. Zonde van de spaarcenten van je oma’s, Sven!

Sven heeft inmiddels een echte goudmijn gevonden, de kwetsbare mens. Het type persoon, dat niet doorheeft dat Sven vol met waanideeën is.

Een paar pareltjes:

Hier beweert Sven stellig dat homeopathie verboden is in Frankrijk. #OkSven. Homeopathie is niet verboden in Frankrijk, het wordt (terecht!) niet meer vergoed in Frankrijk vanaf 2020.

Sven is vrije jurist, hij zou zogenaamd de advocatuur niet in willen, #OkSven. Het is eerder dat je geen patroon (= iemand die advocaat-stagiairs opleidt tot advocaat) kon vinden die jou wilde opleiden. Geen enkele weldenkende patroon wil zijn vingers aan jou branden, je bent een walking and talking liability. (Hier kun je de volledige podcast, met MLM kwakzalver Marije Berkelaar zien.)

Sven heeft iets vernomen van een uitstekend chirurg, #OkSven. Natuurlijk verneem jij dingen van een uitstekend chirug, een dermatoloog zou te min voor je zijn. Laat me raden deze uitstekende chirurg is uiteraard hersenchirurg? Maar goed, deze uitstekende chirurg beweert dat virologen het afvoerputje zijn van de medische wereld #OkSven.(Hier kun je de volledige podcast zien)

Jammer dat de podcasts van Lange Frans zijn verwijderd van youtube. In een van zijn podcasts beweer je namelijk, dat Michelle Obama en Cameron Diaz zich hebben om laten bouwen tot vrouw. #OkSven.

En dan nodig jij in de podcast hieronder Arjen Lubach uit, om over de inhoud te praten (je wekt de illusie met hem bevriend te zijn #OkSven). Over welke inhoud heb je het Sven, je waanideeën?


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I am in love….

Last week, I bought a box of 48 Caran D’ache Neopastels. They were expensive I had to save up, but they were worth the wait ❤ ! The moment I used one of these oil pastels, a connection was made. I could sense on a deep level how the oil pastel connected with the paper, and how the oil pastel was connected to me. I had much fun creating the following color chart, the order is based in which they come originally in the box.

 

When making this color chart I understood the order of the colors in the box. In a way I can’t explain, maybe one day I will.

I did use the Panda Oil Pastels I wrote earlier about, but 24 colors were not enough. Plus when I used them my “art” turned into a brownish, greyish mix of colors. Two weeks later I bought the Faber Castell set of 36 oil pastels.

 

And to be honest, I was shocked by the low quality of these. It was like drawing with candle sticks 😮 Bledding wasn’t blending, it was more like pushing the other color of the paper then blending. And all the crumbles that came of these sticks, it was like dropping a goddamn colorfull Weetabix 😳 Faber Castell this product is dissapointment! The only thing I liked about the set was that it consisted of 36 colors. Just perfect for someone like me.

My current set of Neopastels is 48 colors, too much for a BLAM-IN-YOUR-FACE personality like me. Being subtle has never been my thing :/ This amount of colors is also a bit overwhelming to me. I seriously considered just buying 36 colors that are based on the selection of colors that Faber Castell has. I decided against it, too much hassle.

Drawing with these Neopastels is amazing, they are so creamy and the colors are so bright ❤ ❤ ! None off the pictures I took do any of the colors justice. Also I have to get used to the softness, since I used cheaper pastels. I am used to pressing to hard, a thing that is not necessary with neopastels. Hence the several broken ones 🙄

Yes I do know about Sennelier but they don’t appeal to me. Too lipsticky and I don’t like the fact that they have a tendency to melt while using. Nah, that shit is only going to PISS ME OFF 😡

Should everyone use expensive oil pastels? I can’t say, there are talented artists who create amzing work with cheap oil pastels. Like BlackBean CMS, his favorite set is the 28 set Crayola oil pastels. Which are considerably cheaper then the Neopastel set I have ($6.99 for Crayola versus $115 for Neopastels).This is some of his work where he solely uses Crayolas.

The thing with me is, I am not talented my work will never be amazing o_O So I need all the help I can get. It is a good thing I am not scared of using the expensive stuff….

Since great content has tendency to disappear, like this brilliant vid for example. I hosted the vid by BlackBean CMS on my blog you can find it here. Remember you can always do the cliccie for a larger piccie 😛


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Caran D’ache Neopastel – Set of 48

This is the color chart I made myself (yes people, I don’t how to take pictures 🙄 ). The order of this colorchart is based on the order in which the neopastels came in the box. Same goes for the list I made in Libre Office Writer, which you can download here. Here you will find Caran D’ache‘s official color chart which contains all 96 colors. The official chart also has info about pigments and lightfastness 💡

 

Remember you can always do the cliccie for a larger piccie 😛


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Ik heb heel lang de dans kunnen ontspringen…

Maar vandaag, moest óók ik er aan geloven. Vandaag heb ik namelijk een fraude sms ontvangen, mijn eerste phishing 😎

Mijn eerste reactie was paniek, dat geef ik eerlijk toe 😳  Ik heb meteen de klantenservice van de Belastingdienst gebeld (0800 0543), die was al gesloten. Zou het sms-je met opzet zo laat verstuurd zijn?  Daarna  ben ik ingelogd op DigiD, en er was geen belastingschuld te bekennen, pfieeuw!

Toen besloot ik om op het linkje in de sms te klikken (beste lezer doe dit NOOIT EN TE NIMMER!). Ik kreeg het volgende te zien:

(Ik heb natuurlijk geen rooie cent overgemaakt!)

Nieuwsgierig als ik ben, heb  ik naar het nummer gebeld van waar het sms-je is verstuurd . Voicemail box was helemaal vol, waarschijnlijk volgescholden 😎

Beste lezer, meld dit soort fraudes bij de fraudehelpdesk en verwijder de betreffende sms-jes meteen. Hoe meer meldingen, hoe groter de kans dat deze misdadige figuren gepakt worden. (Deze specifieke fraude is al  bekend, bij de fraudehelpdesk.)

 


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Dear N,

I am so, so sorry.

See I forgot all about you. When I saw your picture by accident on Social Media, you looked vaguely familiar. So I clicked on your picture which lead to your Social Media account, and I scrolled through while wondering why you looked so familiar. Even your name didn’t ring a bell…

While scrolling, I noticed you uploaded pictures taken in 1998 and it was then that I recognized you immediately! In 1998 we hung out for about 6 months, before we went our separate ways. Then the shock settled in, the shock about the person you became due to mental illness. Your appearance changed, your behaviour changed. Even your voice changed, it is so harsh now…. You used to sound soft-spoken and sweet. Hell you even talk with a different accent now, how is that even possible?

I learned you had you first psychosis in 2008, that was 10 years after we met. And all I could think was:

“This should have been me.”

It’s me who should have been placed in a psychiatric facility in 2008, not you. If people who knew us back then, were asked who would end up with her first psychosis within 10 years.  Everyone (me included) would have answered Janice.

You had unlike me everything going for you. Since you have a Dutch father, the stupid rules of the backward honour culture we were both born in didn’t apply to you. Even your 2 older brothers didn’t gave a fuck about enforcing those stupid rules on you. You know those rules which always are presented under the guise of “to protect women”, but actually are suppressing women, those rules.

You as a girl, had the freedom to go out clubbing, fuck around, drink alcohol, use drugs, wear make up, dress the way you want and live on your own. The only reason I could do all those things in 1998, was because I ran away at 17 from those cancer inducing fuckers with whom I have the bad luck to share a name and DNA with.

Dear N, what happened? Where did it go wrong? How is that you of all people ended up like this? I cannot help but think, something bad must have happened to you, something REAL bad.

You know what makes the situation so eerie? We are in so many ways similar, we were both born in Surinam but grew up in the Netherlands. We both like the same music, we both love to draw with pastels, you use soft pastes and I use oil pastels. We both did things in 1998 that almost all girls from the same backward honour culture weren’t allowed to do. We both never gave a fuck what people from the same shitty culture thought of us, even if their dismay of us was very clear. We were both independent, free spirited girls. Now after all those years, I founnd you again. Not on a random day, but the day you recovered from your fourth psychosis……

Scrolling through your Social Media I read things and saw vids of you that upset me. There was this one specific vid I couldn’t watch, I was scared you would hurt yourself. I sent the vid to my real mom (Sonia ❤ ), she told me what happened. You were making dinner, with vegetables that had mould on them… She also told me, you shouldn’t be living on your own like that (my mom used to work with people who had a psychosis). Apparently due to budget cuts you are let loose on the streets, figuratively. Hearing that broke my heart in so many ways, I have been crying for days about your situation.

There are so many things I read on your Social Media that upset me. Like how you have to ask for discounts while shopping for groceries (isn’t that just begging?). Or how predators prey on you, they know you are vulnerable and the comments they write makes me want to puke. I also have the impression you share nudes with whomever asks….

This is what I don’t understand, going by your Social Media your entire extended family is a part of your life. They visit you, you visit them. Why aren’t they making sure, you have at least enough to eat? So that you don’t have to beg for a discounts or make dinner with moulded vegetables?

The thing that for some reason upsets me the most, is you still live in the area you grew up in. I HATE it that you might be seen as the local crazy lady, who goes around begging. You don’t deserve that, again it should have been me not you. Your current situation for some reason makes me think of the song “Kiss The Rain” by Billie Myers, which ironically was played a lot in 1998. The lyrics, the vid just everything is so apt to where you are now.

A specific scene in the beginning off the vid, makes me think about the moment you lost your sanity. A woman covered in a sheet passes Billie Myers by, I find it interesting you cannot see the woman. Also you see the the woman’s shadow going down the stairs while not seeing her (I think technically you should have been able to see her). After the woman is gone Billie Myers destroys the heart shaped balloon (is that what happened N, did someone destroy your heart?). As the vid continues Billie Myers state of mind visibly declines. Here is the specific scene I am talking about:

(You can see the entire vid here)

I am ending this letter with the lyrics and the promise that I am letting you go. As of today, I won’t be checking your Social Media any more. Again Dear N, I am so, so sorry, I just don’t know what to write, so I am ending it here. (I changed some details to protect N’s identity).

Hello
Can you hear me?
Am I getting through to you?
Hello
Is it late there?
Is there laughter on the line?
Are you sure you’re there alone?
‘Cause I’m
Trying to explain
Something’s wrong

You just don’t sound the same

Why don’t you
Why don’t you
Go outside
Go outside

Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I’m gone too long
If your lips feel lonely and thirsty
Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
We’re under the same sky
And the night’s as empty for me as for you

If you feel
You can’t wait ’til morning
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain

Hello
Do you miss me?
I hear you say you do
But not the way I’m missing you
What’s new?
How’s the weather?
Is it stormy where you are?
You sound so close but it feels like you’re so far
Oh, would it mean anything
If you knew what I’m left imagining

In my mind
In my mind

Would you go
Would you go

Kiss the rain

As you fall
Over me
Think of me
Think of me
Think of me
Only me
Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I’m gone too long
If your lips
Feel hungry and tempted
Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
We’re under the same sky
And the night’s as empty for me as for you
If you feel you can’t wait ’til morning
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain

Hello
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?


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How to turn off highlighting in Vim

highlightvim
So recently, I got myself in the situation where everything was highlighted when I typed. Don’t ask me how I got myself in that situation, because I don’t know 🙄 To get rid of the brownish slug my letters were drowning in, I did three things;

Hit the Esc button.

Typed:

:noh

After I hit Enter, the brownish slug aka “highlighting” was gone.

 
Since I don’t know how to turn this brownish slug on, this is the only picture I have. Normally I post more pictures with my “How to’s”.  Yes I did try :seth, it did nothing. Not even the  god of the desert, storms, disorder, violence, and foreigners was summoned 😥

Remember you can always do the cliccie for a larger piccie 😛 Yes, people my laptop is so gross, so am I 😎 Yes I have a piece of tape on my camera, the world doesn’t need so me naked o_O 

 


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Art has to be forgotten, beauty must be realized

After giving up on drawing decades ago, I decided to give it a go again. I ordered a sketch book and Panda Oil Pastels. Why this brand? Well many, many years ago during the class of teacher Terwiel at “De Johan de Wit School” in The Hauge, I fell in love with exactly these oil pastels. I only wanted to draw with these and not the others brands that also were avialable. I frequently used to say in class “Panda krijtjes, ik herken ze met mijn ogen dicht” . Don’t ask me what I was thinking back then 🙄

When I left the fucktards with whom I have the bad luck to share a name and dna with, I moved to a grouphome. Finally I had money to my name, and I could spent it however I wanted it ❤ One off the first things I did with my financial freedom was, buying a small sketch book and Panda Oil Pastels. These are two drawings I made back then

themantheseaandthesun
The one on the left is called, “The Man, The Sea and The Sun” the one on the right is unnamed. That whiteish kind of circle on “The Man, The Sea and The Sun” is me using fixation spray. As you can see that didn’t go well 😕

schetsboek

This is the sketchbook I used, the company still exists!

Why do I love oil pastels so much? Well, there is this roughness about them, it is like using clay on paper. Making it for me a very BLAM-IN-YOUR-FACE way to express myself 😎

I don’t like smoothness in drawings, I’ve always hated that. I also call it a dirty medium, I like how drawings get messy with oil pastels. I have absolutely have no intention (like most youtube folks seem to do) to make my drawings look like oil paintings. No, no, no you will always be able to tell I used oil pastels. Meaning you will see clear lines, the white of the paper coming through etc. etc.

That being said, I have a feeling this will not be an easy medium to master. Then again, looking back at my life, I never seem to take the easy road o_O

What I hate about the Panda Oil Pastels right now is, when I run out of a color I cannot buy a separate oil pastel (Whyyyyyyyy 😥 ) and they only sell two sets of oil pastels (a set of 12 and a set of). I have a set of 24 colors which I think is very limiting..this is the swatch card I made.

swatchcard-panda-oilpastel

Yes I drew yesterday, no I am not going to share that with you guys 😳 Yes, I had lots of fun while drawing. And you know what, while drawing I thought “Beer can go fuck itself now”. To be honest when I wrote this post, I already started to lose interest in beer.